This post is about suicide. It may trigger you or cause you distress. You have every right to look away if you think it will save your own life but if you think that reading this will save the lives…
Too often the first question from my friends' lips, when I mention a new man in my life, is ‘what does he do?’ “He makes me happy that’s what he does” is my answer. I could say he’s a chef…
I have photos of my dead mother on my phone. Not my mother before she died but my mother’s body after her death. I don’t seek these photos out but they occasionally come to me in those thumbnail photos that…
I cut my thighs the other day, deliberately. On an image editing website. It was easy to slither off a bit of my thigh, soften out those facial wrinkles and add some colour to my hair. So I did. Because,…
My ex boyfriend once showed up at home with shopping bags filled with women's clothes. For me. I had, in a funk of self loathing, been complaining about the weight I had piled on and my inability to find anything…
'Facebook memories' let me know that my mother, Joy, died 18 months ago this last week. Thanks Facebook. Now there's an anniversary I wasn't planning on marking. Why? Because my grief had finally got to the point of not counting.…
I am supposed to be writing a book but instead I am writing a blog, but they both start with a 'b' so I consider that progress. It is better than sitting on the carpeted floor of the Explore Bookshop…
The box canyon of Telluride in Colorado was surely made by unicorns who clicked their golden hooved heels and created a natural amphitheatre straight from a kids picture book with mountain peaks that thrust skyward protecting the town below with…
By the time most of us hit at least mid thirties it's pretty safe to say we're no longer virgins. I've had my fair share of longer term relationships and despite body and gender shaming rules that belong in the…
I didn't expect to fall in love while in Vail, Colorado but I did. My dead mother sent me to Vail and while I now have a very slight inkling as to her reasons, there were many times in the…
Since arriving in Colorado a month ago I have been desperate to hike to a lake, a stunning crystal clear mountain lake. I had pictured myself stripping naked with good friends or new friends and throwing ourselves into the lake…
I used to think that saying you wanted to be loved was weak, that saying you crave to be touched by someone who cherishes your body because your body houses you was also weak and I used to think that…
I have a child. Apparently her name is Sylvia. I know this because I was introduced to her at The Golden Door health retreat in Australia in a 'Soul Awakening' session that was gifted to me by the retreat. Of course…
It's been seven days since I embarked upon a momentous life altering experience and in my disneyland thinking I expected everything to go perfectly. There lies the problem, expectations. But I am human, sigh. You can't expect to have a…
There's nothing better than arriving home after a long day, time abroad, illness and the like. But what if you don't have a home? I am officially homeless and jet lagged and have, again, underestimated the destabilising qualities of both. Humans…
Goodbye has never been a word I have embraced. I play Houdini at parties, simply disappearing by doing a runner out the door when no one is looking. Just because I don’t want to say goodbye. My phone conversations finish…
No one is immune to depression. I learnt that this week when a friend died by her own hand. Her stunning renovated home in an idealic enclave of peace didn't keep the black dog at bay, nor did her perfect…
It was the hand writing that set me off. A simple R written on a jewellery box built for a solitary ring. I found it while doing the final packing up of my house today before I soon begin a…
Sell. Donate. Dump. Three words I have been living by for almost two weeks. I am moving. Scratch that, I am evacuating. Selling everything in my home and heading overseas for a writing sabbatical. Why? Because my dead mother told…
